i hate people who rant on their blogs. I hate people who do not have the courage to address the issue face-to-face and rather speak about it on their blogs. I know I am doing the exact same thing as you. Consider this a public humiliation. You and your whatever theories can go to hell for all I care. Look at your efforts and look at mine and reflect on it. You are insignificant to my life so that I don't care about you. I never did, for that matter.
Go figure.
Now that I have gotten that off my chest, I feel so much more lighter. Sometimes I do not understand why I try so hard. Everyone is superficial; occasionally we do find someone true and before we can hold on to that someone, they drift away. It is really saddening. What I am trying to get at is: I miss you, Aaron. I wish you were here right now. I really do. I am just so sick of all the pretense and all the acts. For once, I really need someone who is true and open about what they believe in and I can behave in the same manner.
Life outside school is pretty good. Meeting up with my darlings really save me. If not for you guys, I would have probably killed myself. Seriously. I am so emotionally and physically worn out that I just want to quit. But I know you guys believe in me and that is what that spurs me on. Rest assured, unless my death is natural or an accident, I will not leave anytime soon. I have too much to do.
I am glad we had the talk on saturday. It has really cleared the air and enabled to breathe with ease. I feel so much but I am afraid to let it out. Give me some space to grow into first. I promise I will come out in the open soon. I am not ashamed; just a bit.. scared, i guess? I am sorry if it has hurt your feelings, though.
Posted by r0ad5|d3 JuL|3+ at 9:46 PM
